For those of you who prefer video reviews, I 100% recommend this take from YouTuber Amanda the Jedi: https://youtu.be/A7hRbtfUNQI. She hits most of the same points I do, and makes quality content in general.

Verdict: Most Talked-About

I would call this movie “really fun entertainment for a night in.” It’s funny, it’s enjoyable, it’s Christmassy, it’s queer. I would not call it an objectively good movie.

My partner and I watched this together for a Christmas season date night. He didn’t fall asleep, and we both laughed quite a few times, so for a date night it was a great pick. But would I buy it on DVD? Probably not. (Well, okay, maybe, but solely for Kristen Stewart.)

In case you’ve missed Hulu’s millions of ads, Happiest Season is about Abby (Kristen Stewart) and her girlfriend Harper (Mackenzie Davis) visiting Harper’s conservative family for Christmas. Abby wants to propose, but Harper’s family doesn’t know she’s gay or that they’re together. Hijinks ensue. Aubrey Plaza plays Harper’s secret former flame Riley, with Dan Levy as Abby’s tech-savvy best friend.

The Fun

The highlights: Kristen Stewart, Dan Levy, Aubrey Plaza. K-Stew will always have my heart. Dan Levy’s GBF is hilarious and insightful. He offers both solid friendship and on-point advice. I really loved the side plot with the fish. Aubrey Plaza and K-Stew had insane levels of chemistry. The scene with the drag queens was some classic queer Christmas fun.

The family dynamic with Harper’s parents and sisters felt very relatable. There was some secondhand embarrassment and cringe humor, which isn’t usually my thing, but watching the sisters compete and interact was pretty entertaining. Plenty of great jokes and one-liners made me laugh.

The massive climactic mess is ultimate Christmas entertainment. Absolutely would watch that scene again; it was a beautiful disaster in the best way.

The… Confusing (Spoilers)

I have so many questions. Why did the movie hype up a Christmas proposal and then never show a proposal? Why was Harper actively flirting with her ex-boyfriend?? Why was a random indie-movie gas station parking lot chosen for the big romantic moment in an otherwise traditional mainstream Christmas movie???

The shoplifting scene: what was that? Did the kids plant the necklace because they didn’t like Abby, or their mom told them to, or because they’re just supposed to be stereotypical creepy twins? Never established. What was with the parody-level buddy mall cop interrogation? Felt out of place. Why did the story need this scene at all? There would be plenty of more natural reasons for tension between Abby and Harper’s family than “they think I’m a thief now.” And when the whole thing is cleared up, it’s barely actually addressed.

Why did the movie give us chemistry and Moments between Abby and Riley, when Riley was never treated as a potential legitimate option for Abby? The movie flirts with the idea of Riley as a romantic rival to Harper, offering Abby a contrast to her current relationship. One of our early scenes seeing Riley is a shot with Harper’s sister talking about being “single and ready to mingle.” Abby and Riley at the bar together definitely feels like a date, especially when Riley moves to sit on the same side of the booth with Abby. A hint of jealousy hits when Harper notices Riley and Abby out together. But the story never commits to Riley as an option. She hangs out with Abby for a few scenes, contextualizes Harper’s past and family dynamics, and gives Abby a metaphorical shoulder to cry on. She serves as a supporting character, not a legitimate love interest. Missed potential there.

The Exhausting

I don’t know how Abby and Harper met, or what their relationship has been like in the years leading up to this movie. I don’t remember if we’re told how long they’ve been together. What I do know is that the week we’re shown in the movie makes Harper seem like an exhausting (and selfish) person to date.

Let’s return to the premise of this movie. Lesbian girlfriends hide their relationship while visiting homophobic family for Christmas. The fact that Harper didn’t tell Abby the truth until they were already almost there is bad enough. But also: Harper has been actively lying to her partner for six months. This isn’t the kind of thing that can be chalked up to a misunderstanding or white lie. Many conversations about family would have arisen over the past six months, in which Harper must have lied or twisted the truth to hide this major secret from the person she supposedly loves.

Her deceit doesn’t just cover this one (huge) secret, either. We learn quickly that Harper has been keeping big pieces of her life stories from Abby. All sorts of life experiences and high school memories have been edited before reaching Abby’s ears.

Why would Harper lie to her girlfriend about having an ex-boyfriend? That’s a pretty normal thing for adults in a relationship to talk about. Nobody expects someone in their late 20s/early 30s to not have dated anyone before. Plenty of lesbians have tried to fit in with a boyfriend in high school; it’s not an unusual situation. (I’m not convinced Harper isn’t bisexual, though.) The only reason I can think of for hiding an ex-boyfriend from the current bae is that Harper secretly still has feelings for him… which is definitely backed up by her behavior around him in the movie.

Why was Harper flirting with her ex? Harper’s mom is pushing her and the ex together, while the ex displays clear interest in Harper. That’s standard awkward movie behavior. The whole concept of misunderstandings and comedy would work without Harper flirting back. She is clearly also interested in the guy; you can’t tell me those arm touches and giggles are innocent. But this behavior is never acknowledged. The fact that she doesn’t tell him she’s unavailable is only a secondary problem; her choice to actively encourage his attentions is a whole separate thing we never address.

The scene in which Harper tells Abby she’s smothering her? After staying out all night flirting with her ex-boyfriend and ignoring Abby’s texts?? Oh hell no. Gaslighting 101, folks, and I’m not here for it.

Conclusion

You know what would have made this movie awesome? If the entire Christmas fiasco made Harper and Abby both realize what they need and want in a relationship, leading to a sad breakup that is ultimately better for both of them. Harper learns from her mistakes and can come out to her family and become comfortable in her sexuality at her own pace. Meanwhile, Abby is free to pursue the relationship she’s ready for with Riley, with healthy boundaries and open communication. (They had way more chemistry the whole movie, anyway.) The one-year-later can show a happily committed Riley and Abby running into Harper, maybe with a new girlfriend; they share smiles and pleasant greetings, showing they’ve all grown as people and there are no hard feelings.

But no. Instead we get a movie that is equal parts entertaining, confusing, and disappointing. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoyed watching this movie. There are no “wish I could get those two hours of my life back” feelings. I’d watch it again, too. Most of the movie felt cohesive, funny, and well-made. But a few scenes stood out as ill-fitting or pointless, and I wasn’t really rooting for the main couple.

While watching the movie, all I wanted was for Abby to be happy in a comfortable relationship with someone who valued her. I rooted for whoever K-Stew picked, so the ending wasn’t initially disappointing (except that they skipped over the proposal!). The scene in the gas station parking lot feels out of place for a mainstream Christmas rom-com, but it is a cute scene on its own.

Thinking about the movie later, after processing the story, I got more and more frustrated with how Harper treated Abby, and how easily she was forgiven. Maybe the relationship they built before this movie was worth preserving, but we have no evidence to believe that. We do have evidence the last six months have been full of lies, and that being around her family of origin makes Harper a horrible partner. That doesn’t bode well for a long-term happily ever after.

If they had to end up together, at the very least we should have seen the big Christmas proposal. K-Stew picks out a ring, has multiple conversations about proposals and marriage with Dan Levy, and then we just don’t see the proposal? Who hypes up a Christmas proposal in a Christmas rom-com and then skips ahead to being engaged?? I want my cheesy Christmas proposal with soft lighting and sweeping music!

Anyway. If you want a funny Christmas movie with queer characters and themes, this movie is worth watching. It’s just not going on my top 10 holiday classics list.

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